Skip to main content
The Mom who lost her cool!

How often have i judged a mom for losing her cool or making her child cry(before my mommy days)- plenty
How often have i judged a mom in the last 4.5 years of being a mom?-honestly zero

It's so easy to hurl a sideward glance of disapproval to a mother scolding or shouting at her cherubic preschooler. Very easy if you ask me. All it takes is a look at the teary, scared , cowering little child to   label the "momster". This is typical of people who haven't "lived" the life of an exhausted,sleep deprived, nanny on call, chauffeur on call, cook on call, night time on call mother(oh, did i forget hormonal??).

iam a stay at home mother and most days i take my job very seriously. Not that i'am a helicopter mother(some might vehemently disagree) ; anyway i'am the kind who makes sure all the duties revolving around my little one is done and done well. Well you could call lil A my client, a very demanding client at times!

In the midst of ensuring she eats well and gets her daily dose of nutrition and between the innumerable role plays and chauffeuring around to playgrounds and maintaining my cool amidst the temper tantrums and handling an overly tired 4.5 year old who wants just one more story before bed time i try to maintain my cool and do all the deep breathing exercises i practised preparing for childbirth(which they conveniently skip to tell you, is for delivery and after!)

But sometimes i lose my cool! There you go! i have lost my cool with lil A plenty of times. especially during her summer vacations where i felt like she pushed me to the top of the edge and further pushed me over it! So go ahead and judge me.

What the Daddies/grandparents/friends without kids conveniently oversee is the build up to the shouting. It could be the end of a long, really long day which involved a trip to the supermarket, playground, playdate, seasoned with a fair amount of tantrums, ouchies in innumerable places which hurts so bad that they need to be carried, hunger meltdowns, tussle with friends among other things. By the time the day comes to a close and when they don't settle down with just 4 stories because they are overly tired but still want their way around- well you just lose it!! at the cost of being a momster!

A lesson i have learnt from all the unpleasant episodes is not to let the "internal screaming" build up. Now if i see or deal with something too stressful i try and put my foot down or be very very firm even at the cost of precious tears down lil A's face.  It is a little hard in the beginning if you are used to giving up easily or if you child is used to getting things their way real quick and easy. So instead of keeping calm and carrying on, as Elsa sang, let it go!







Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Rise above the little things, Mommy! So this new year i was thinking of a resolution that i can really keep and not one that disappears over the horizon after an enthusiastic debut! Something doable and definitely not restraining (there goes dieting out of the window!). So i started looking at all things i need to work on , things that are WIP for me and i realised that there are many days that i snap and lose my cool with lil A. Call it power struggle, over protective nature, an eager zealous 4 year old who wants things her way, and the innumerable "why's" that demand answers. That got me thinking if i should be tackling each of these issues individually(phew!) or is there something else that i can do that lets me manage myself in all these situations better. Thats when i came across this quote which simply stuck: "ONE RESOLUTION I HAVE MADE,AND TRY ALWAYS TO KEEP, IS THIS: TO RISE ABOVE THE LITTLE THINGS" JOHN BURROUGHS  But rise above what? Thats ...
Bring out the Report Card! Comparison; they say has stopped. Parenting; they say has changed. We will not subject our kids through what we went to, they say. I say- Hogwash! Case in point- A distressed mom was talking to a group of moms about her child acting up and obviously giving out desperate signals of seeking useful advice and solutions. The mom in question was terribly disappointed and gave up when all the other Mothers began whipping out their child behaviour book and comparing how each of their kids react. I Mean come on , not everything is about saying me too or mine too! Sometimes the despaired mom just needs to vent or wants someone to listen to her, not someone who would immediately change the subject and steer it back to a notebook full of comparison points.Check! What happened to our quality of listening or being there? When did it become a competition of parenting skills and know hows? So how can we say that comparing kids has stopped , that we have stopped...
Mommy fatigue- That unaccomplished, unexplained and undeciphered feeling. So a real long weekend with 4 days of school holiday has punched me in the face with the Mommy fatigue- wherein by the end of Day 2 i'am unexplainably exhausted, worn out and (no surprise) sleep off halfway through bedtime story(to be woken up twice by my ever chipper 4.8 year old). So what exactly did i do to get so tired?Ask me, I dare you! Because honestly i am as confused or astonished(as some of my single friends point out) about what i do on a holiday with my little one? So my highly spirited child is not into television or any activity that requires the use of the amazing invention that provides comfort to the backside namely sofa/chair/bench/bed/even floor! She is heavily into role playing(with me) and been so for the past 1.6 years(yes i have been counting). After my initial excitement of participating and being involved in her role playing which could extend anywhere from 1 hour to 5 hours at a...