Remember all the times you have been frustrated by someone/everyone who just doesn't seem to "get you". Now imagine that feeling amplified and triggered ; almost every alternate day. Annoying isn't it?
That's exactly what a child goes through which is conveniently labelled as tantrums in the grown up's dictionary.Really, don't you as an adult ever disagree to something strongly,need something done your way,or refuse a meal because you had a heavy snack?!) Would you label that as unreasonable behaviour or tantrums?
Being a mom has instilled in me a whole lot of personality traits i never even imagined to be capable of till i had a child to deal with and co exist peacefully. One of them being Empathy.
Every time i Empathise we have less of a power struggle, more peace and understanding and a whole lot of love.It also saves me the anger, stress, strained vocal chords, rage and the guilt that follows after(and the greys that follow much after!).
Empathy works like a charm with children, (don't know till what age) but might as well use it till it runs out; just like they outgrow dummies, diapers and rompers!!
Hearing them out and actually listening and acknowledging them means heaps to them. Sending out the signal that you are willing to come down to their level to "understand" their "problem"(however small or big it is in their world).It is important to leave imprints in their mind that you are someone they can count on as their solid anchor. I have seen kids sometime gravitate towards one of the parent over the other because they genuinely feel "heard" and "seen" which forms their security blanket. Our kids are growing up and they are growing up real fast and in the long run something as basic and simple as empathy seems difficult to impart at all times but it is extremely doable.
Empathising with them translates into a whole lot of emotions associated with care, love, security, support, loyalty and most importantly being there for them. I'd rather prioritize empathising with my child and invest in the growing years before they outgrow us or any effort that we put into the relationship at a later stage.
They are not going be terrible two'ers, tantrum throwing toddlers or tempermental preschoolers forever. Every thing is a phase and it is just going to get worse or better depending on how you see it. But you do have the power to diffuse the "worse" by just acknowledging and lending an ear.
After all empathy is one of the most coveted human need and our children are no different.
That's exactly what a child goes through which is conveniently labelled as tantrums in the grown up's dictionary.Really, don't you as an adult ever disagree to something strongly,need something done your way,or refuse a meal because you had a heavy snack?!) Would you label that as unreasonable behaviour or tantrums?
Being a mom has instilled in me a whole lot of personality traits i never even imagined to be capable of till i had a child to deal with and co exist peacefully. One of them being Empathy.
Every time i Empathise we have less of a power struggle, more peace and understanding and a whole lot of love.It also saves me the anger, stress, strained vocal chords, rage and the guilt that follows after(and the greys that follow much after!).
Empathy works like a charm with children, (don't know till what age) but might as well use it till it runs out; just like they outgrow dummies, diapers and rompers!!
Hearing them out and actually listening and acknowledging them means heaps to them. Sending out the signal that you are willing to come down to their level to "understand" their "problem"(however small or big it is in their world).It is important to leave imprints in their mind that you are someone they can count on as their solid anchor. I have seen kids sometime gravitate towards one of the parent over the other because they genuinely feel "heard" and "seen" which forms their security blanket. Our kids are growing up and they are growing up real fast and in the long run something as basic and simple as empathy seems difficult to impart at all times but it is extremely doable.
Empathising with them translates into a whole lot of emotions associated with care, love, security, support, loyalty and most importantly being there for them. I'd rather prioritize empathising with my child and invest in the growing years before they outgrow us or any effort that we put into the relationship at a later stage.
They are not going be terrible two'ers, tantrum throwing toddlers or tempermental preschoolers forever. Every thing is a phase and it is just going to get worse or better depending on how you see it. But you do have the power to diffuse the "worse" by just acknowledging and lending an ear.
After all empathy is one of the most coveted human need and our children are no different.
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