How to be mom(me)- A light take on motherhood and everything around it!

Bring out the Report Card! Comparison; they say has stopped. Parenting; they say has changed. We will not subject our kids through what we went to, they say. I say- Hogwash! Case in point- A distressed mom was talking to a group of moms about her child acting up and obviously giving out desperate signals of seeking useful advice and solutions. The mom in question was terribly disappointed and gave up when all the other Mothers began whipping out their child behaviour book and comparing how each of their kids react. I Mean come on , not everything is about saying me too or mine too! Sometimes the despaired mom just needs to vent or wants someone to listen to her, not someone who would immediately change the subject and steer it back to a notebook full of comparison points.Check! What happened to our quality of listening or being there? When did it become a competition of parenting skills and know hows? So how can we say that comparing kids has stopped , that we have stopped...

Some ads with kids that makes me say "which parallel universe are you from?!" Have you seen some ads with children in them that makes you mouth "what the?". This besides the way in which some kids act that would put Kareena Kapoor to shame as far as acting over the top is concerned.  I was watching this detergent ad in which a child(7 year old?) reacts to a food spill stain on his shirt with such finesse and a shrug of his shoulder coupled by his chipper mother who just smiles in every frame of the ad. Now in which universe is this fathomable? If you have ever donned a hat of a mother to a preschooler/high schooler with stained uniforms or party wear, this question is to you. In a real life scenario the child will either bring the roof down(OCD driven individual) or the child continues as if nothing happened. Mother reacts with a mental math on how long the stain can stay dry and by what time it should be treated severely to leave all traces. Another react...

Remember all the times you have been frustrated by someone/everyone who just doesn't seem to "get you". Now imagine that feeling amplified and triggered ; almost every alternate day. Annoying isn't it? That's exactly what a child goes through which is conveniently labelled as tantrums in the grown up's dictionary.Really, don't you as an adult ever disagree to something strongly,need something done your way,or refuse a meal because you had a heavy snack?!) Would you label that as unreasonable behaviour or tantrums? Being a mom has instilled in me a whole lot of personality traits i never even imagined to be capable of till i had a child to deal with and co exist peacefully. One of them being Empathy . Every time i Empathise we have less of a power struggle, more peace and understanding and a whole lot of love.It also saves me the anger, stress, strained vocal chords, rage and the guilt that follows after(and the greys that follow much after!). Empat...

Mommy fatigue- That unaccomplished, unexplained and undeciphered feeling. So a real long weekend with 4 days of school holiday has punched me in the face with the Mommy fatigue- wherein by the end of Day 2 i'am unexplainably exhausted, worn out and (no surprise) sleep off halfway through bedtime story(to be woken up twice by my ever chipper 4.8 year old). So what exactly did i do to get so tired?Ask me, I dare you! Because honestly i am as confused or astonished(as some of my single friends point out) about what i do on a holiday with my little one? So my highly spirited child is not into television or any activity that requires the use of the amazing invention that provides comfort to the backside namely sofa/chair/bench/bed/even floor! She is heavily into role playing(with me) and been so for the past 1.6 years(yes i have been counting). After my initial excitement of participating and being involved in her role playing which could extend anywhere from 1 hour to 5 hours at a...

The Mom who lost her cool! How often have i judged a mom for losing her cool or making her child cry(before my mommy days)- plenty How often have i judged a mom in the last 4.5 years of being a mom?-honestly zero It's so easy to hurl a sideward glance of disapproval to a mother scolding or shouting at her cherubic preschooler. Very easy if you ask me. All it takes is a look at the teary, scared , cowering little child to   label the "momster". This is typical of people who haven't "lived" the life of an exhausted,sleep deprived, nanny on call, chauffeur on call, cook on call, night time on call mother(oh, did i forget hormonal??). iam a stay at home mother and most days i take my job very seriously. Not that i'am a helicopter mother(some might vehemently disagree) ; anyway i'am the kind who makes sure all the duties revolving around my little one is done and done well. Well you could call lil A my client, a very demanding client at times! I...

Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence!  But behold! Enjoy your greenery before it gets to the other side! Just this morning when i took little A to costa coffee for her hot chocolate and a caffeine shot for myself, i saw a spunky young office goer getting a take away and heading out to wrap up some unfinished business with a spring in her step. It instantly transported me back to my office days when i could not even fathom sitting and leisurely enjoying a coffee during the day and getting a quick take away en route to a meeting was a luxury in itself. I smiled at the thought and realised how the "grass is greener" saying was a real deal!  Back when i used to work i would just sigh at the sight of a newborn cuddled in a mothers arm, and now i wish i walked with a spring in my step juggling a laptop with a bag and a take away mug?!  Isn't grass always greener on the other side of the fence? Even among us mother species ; the strong claws o...

Why the Why's Have to be answered and nurtured As a mum to an over zealous toddler who has grown up into a curious , inquisitive  pre schooler ; i have heard the word "why" at least 60 times on a good day(when i counted!). These why's range from  "oh, so cute", to "oh, that's embarrassing", to "oh my god, not now" to "oh no, not here" to "oh , why indeed". Most of the why's pop around the same time your little one starts to put words together to form sentences( remember how much you fretted over the fact that the little one hasn't started speaking yet!). My Little One loves "why" over the "hows","wheres", and "whens". As much as it tends to annoy me at times she is completely justified in using as many "whys". Imagine grown ups being transported to a new planet with no reference point and asked to go about their daily life. Wont we, as adults hav...

Make it Right, Mom! Ever wondered how in your child's eye you are a fixer, no matter what the problem is.My little one thinks i can fix any problem and make it right. How we wish, right? Imagine the utter faith they have in the word "mother" who can make everything right in a way that almost translates us beings into metahumans (u could also call it super mom). So this lazy sunday AM lil A and I are watching a movie where a ferocious tiger hurts a little animal,  which gets A a little perturbed who asks me to do something about the mean animal. I try telling her that its just a movie and they are acting out these emotions.She digests that fact and then asks me to make her stop feeling sad?! My instant reaction to inculcate feelings of independence in my 4 year old makes me say that she has to manage her emotions herself and i can only guide. Imagine, Lil A thinks i am powerful enough to stop her from feeling bad/sad, make her boo boo pain go away, make the hot m...

Rise above the little things, Mommy! So this new year i was thinking of a resolution that i can really keep and not one that disappears over the horizon after an enthusiastic debut! Something doable and definitely not restraining (there goes dieting out of the window!). So i started looking at all things i need to work on , things that are WIP for me and i realised that there are many days that i snap and lose my cool with lil A. Call it power struggle, over protective nature, an eager zealous 4 year old who wants things her way, and the innumerable "why's" that demand answers. That got me thinking if i should be tackling each of these issues individually(phew!) or is there something else that i can do that lets me manage myself in all these situations better. Thats when i came across this quote which simply stuck: "ONE RESOLUTION I HAVE MADE,AND TRY ALWAYS TO KEEP, IS THIS: TO RISE ABOVE THE LITTLE THINGS" JOHN BURROUGHS  But rise above what? Thats ...

Air for Lunch anyone? Lil A wakes up by 5:30 AM most mornings(she is an early riser and yes i have tried putting her down to sleep late but these early risers are tuned to wake up early no matter what time you put them to bed).My day begins with getting her to brush her teeth and playing with her for an hour before i hit the kitchen to dish out breakfast, snack and lunch. Usually she is a happy child and plays with her toys while i whip up a storm in the kitchen! but of late she has been a little authoritative in letting me know that i have got to pretend play with her and her toys. So after an additional hour of “pretend play” i decide to slowly disappear(and hope she doesn't notice) and navigate into the kitchen and all hell breaks lose. The 2 hours of play we had is shoved into the backseat and tantrums and whining trumps all.  Usually i'am pretty good at handing whining(even if i say so myself) but off late i think i'am losing my touch maybe because i have been try...

Eggless Wheat Chocolate chip cookies! Now who doesn't like to munch on these lovelies! Ever since i realized that lil A doesn't quite enjoy her lil kitchen like mommys “real” kitchen i have given in to the fact that i am going to have one messy kitchen! so i decided might as well have a little fun with her in there! These are what childhood memories are made of anyways right?! stealing a few chocolate chip, wolfing down sugar or even licking that butter off the wrapper. so once a week lil A and I cook up a storm(no, really) in the “real” kitchen! When i make these cookies i sneak in a portion for me that is a healthy alternative! read on to find out how you could also indulge in it!(we mommies need em too!) Disclaimer: Bring out old newspapers and aprons and let it roll!! What you will need  Mommy indulgence Junior extravaganza Whole wheat flour - 1 Cup(200 ml measurement cup) Refined Flour or half wheat+ half maida- 1 Cup Vegetable oil - 1/4 cup Butter- 1/4 cu...

10 things you already do that will help your child in the future! So i was reading this article the other day about revelations of a new study that “Disobedient children make more money as adults” Now that was a revelation indeed! Because all i think of when i’am bringing up my 3 year old is to teach her to behave well and discipline her. Looks like she wont be earning as much as her disobedient peers eh? But then again the logic behind this finding is that Disobedient children will be more aggressive when it comes to negotiating and asking for a raise and will be more competitive than their peers. This got me thinking on what “purpose” do i instill in my child? Well for me primarily she should grow up to be a content and happy human being. Having said that it would be nice to see her succeeding in whatever career she chooses. and yes earning good money is definitely something she would like , i suppose! Does that mean i hope she starts getting disobedient , knowing that trai...

10 signs of a super cool mom Oh how i wish i was a cool mom but i dont think i can stick to that role for maybe more than half hour , or one hour on a very very good day! but i have seen some real cool moms and wondered how they get their energy and sanity to be that “cool”! Read along to see if you come close! You see your child putting sand/leaf/dirt in his mouth and you smile: This one is pretty self explanatory but yeah sometimes this cool mom even thinks that it is the most adorable and funny thing she has seen her toddler do! how sweet! You calmly answer all your childs “whys” with a genuine smile(grinding teeth does not count): Cool mom answers all questions however annoying the why's are with a big smile on her face and thinks that she happy to deposit knowledge in the memory bank of their kid.and no she does not snap even after answering 45 questions but she still gets another loud “WHY”? This cool mom is all for spreading that wonderful light called knowledge ...

Today is my day off! Well that thought takes me back to pre baby days when Friday's used to be the most awaited day of the week! Waiting to chill out after a long week of really long meetings, calls, presentations and deadlines! Come Saturday and it was officially declared as my day off! 3 years into this job of a MOMMY (almost 2 years of full time stay at home mom) and Friday has suddenly become the new Monday!!(argh weekend already??no preschool??parks will be crowded!?? how do i keep her entertained over the next 48 hours??) and that is the moment of truth where i transformed from being a die hard Friday Junkie into a Friday Grouchy!!!Now weekend translates into 2 days of a highly spirited lil A(thank you, Krispy Kreme) looking forward to 2 days of super fun. Did i not mention the innumerable “whys” that will be shot my way!?(My current BFF is google!).Is her mother ready for the action packed weekend that beckons her?(oh thank you , Coffee Day Cold Coffee). So i finally de...